Though I have not been blogging actively, Leading Virtually continues to be popular among its readers. I thank all its readers for their interest and loyalty. While I mull over posts that focus on this blog’s theme, I thought I might share something that touches us all. Something that is more immediate. Tomorrow is father’s day. It’s a reminder that we are members of a family before anything else. It’s a reminder for us to give importance to our connections as human beings. I would argue that this suggestion is no different from what this blog suggests about how we lead virtually. Virtual no longer remains as such if we infuse humaneness in all that we do virtually. When something touches our hearts, it becomes real. With that in mind, and as a father, I would like to share my thoughts on what a father may really want for father’s day.

The other day I asked my daughter what she thought I wanted for father’s day. “A tie? sunglasses? a lawnmower? a breakfast that I make for you?” she quizzed me. I thought to myself that she had absolutely no clue about what would really make me happy. After a moment, I realized that I couldn’t possibly expect her to know what I really wanted. I had never told my children what would really make me happy on father’s day.

It would be the feeling I had when I held my children for the first time.

I have two children, Preet and Sahiba. Preet is the protective elder brother to Sahiba, who will always be his little sister. Even though the feelings I had when Preet and Sahiba were born were the same, the thoughts from Sahiba’s birth are more vivid because of their recency. Of course, I thought that she was the most beautiful thing in the world. I felt on the top of this world. Because I thought I was the most powerful person in this world. Here was someone tender who needed me. And I was going to take care of her. And give her the best things in life. I was the one who was going to protect her from any harm. I was the one who was going to give her unconditional love and, that too, without stopping for a moment. I was the one who would never put her down, no matter how tired I got. I was the happiest person in this world and no one could take this source of happiness away from me. Because it was all mine.

So you see, what caused this happiness was not some “thing” that this baby was going to do for me or give me. It was what I could do for her and give her. This baby needed me to survive, grow, and flourish and I was there to do all it takes to make that happen.

I would give anything to have that feeling again.

I don’t want a new tie, a new pair of sunglasses, or a new lawnmower. I don’t want someone to make anything for me. Instead, I want to feel that my children need my love and care. I want to feel that they need me to buffer them from the cruel challenges of life. I want to feel that I have in me what it takes to make them happy. I want to feel that I make a difference in my children’s lives like nobody can.

Your dad may very well be like me. To make him feel this way, don’t give or make anything for him. Instead, make him feel that he can still do for you and give you all that he wanted to when he held you for the first time. Show him that you are still vulnerable and you need him by your side to be the best that you can be. You will make him feel that he can take on anything in this world for your sake. That’s the best thing a father can ask for on father’s day.

Or on any other day, for that matter.